


with your life

by theycallmesuperboy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Endor, Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage, discussions of divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 02:36:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10981578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theycallmesuperboy/pseuds/theycallmesuperboy
Summary: They’ve survived the battle of Endor, but has their relationship survived the war?





	with your life

**Author's Note:**

> Ya so basically this was inspired by another LW fic I read a couple days ago, rereading some old exr fics, and a sudden desire to write canonverse fics. Specifically something on Endor? (Which I kept calling Yavin in my notes lol.)

They’d gotten married on some, out-of-the-way, backwater planet, stopping off after a mission before heading back to Echo Base, just to make it official. They’d decided two days before, in Luke’s bunk when they were half asleep, and then just days later it was done. They made a lot of decisions like that, back then.

The paperwork was filed with the rebellion when they’d gotten back to base, but they didn’t officially move in together-- they didn’t exactly have family housing on Hoth-- and it wasn’t like they weren’t already spending every night in each other’s beds when they were on-world. They never wanted to make the whole thing a big deal anyway, they didn’t even tell their friends until Luke was mauled by the wampa a year later. Leia had seen it on his medical records, because she was basically in charge, and could look at those things. She’d been hurt he hadn’t said anything, she hadn’t even known he and Wedge were that serious. He didn’t mean for her to feel that way, but they hadn’t been advertising it, it was something between the two of them.

And then things changed. Everything turned to shit real quickly. They’d only had about two years together and then they were splitting up again. They got separated in the chaos of fleeing Hoth, didn’t have time to regroup, didn’t have time to worry about each other. The rebellion was more important than either of them. Luke knew he’d reconnect with Wedge when he had time, but then he had priorities with his Jedi training on Dagobah.

When they finally met up at the escort frigate at the rebellion’s rendezvous point, Luke had already lost his hand, and they’d lost Han. There, Luke and Wedge got precious little time together between mission planning and missions and Luke's recovery. He didn’t tell Wedge about Vader. Didn’t tell anyone, even the man sleeping beside him most nights. It was his burden to bear alone.

And then they split up again. The rebellion was more important than their relationship, they both had duties of their own. Luke headed back to Tatooine to rescue Han, Wedge to continue preparations to destroy the second Death Star. It would be awhile before they’d see each other again, briefly, when regrouping over Sullust to plan their attack. Wedge would miss having Luke out there with him, but respected that as the rebellion’s only Jedi, he had a much more important role to play.

Things changed again, on Endor, when Luke told Leia the truth about them. And then his father died. And then the battle was over, but not without all the casualties of war.

The celebration raged on on the surface of Endor, but Luke stood back, separated from all of it. Even before he touched back down on the surface, Luke had known Wedge was alright. He could feel him, like he felt his connection to Leia, to Vader. He’d given him a hug when arriving, and Luke could tell that Wedge was feeling unhappy, but first he had to speak with Leia and Han.

And then the two told Luke they were getting married, right then, right there, in front of all their friends. Exactly the opposite of Luke and Wedge. He tried not to see it as a stab in his direction. When he saw his sister and his friend kiss upon being pronounced married, he looked across the platform to his own husband. Seeing the expression on Wedge’s face, Luke knew they had to talk.

* * *

Getting away from the celebration, just the two of them, was the first time they’d really been alone in a while. Luke couldn’t pinpoint when, exactly, the last time it was that they’d had time to be alone. Really alone, not just sleeping. Even then, most of that time sleeping beside each other was in barracks or in sleeping bags next to half a dozen other pilots.

Wedge followed Luke dutifully, like he always had, climbing after him as they scaled the ropes of the Ewok village. Luke knew the trees better than Wedge did, but even then, his only objective was to get as far away from prying eyes as he could. The further away they got, the more dread Luke felt rise in his chest. Wedge was silent as they climbed, and Luke made no move to break the silence yet.

Finally, he reached a small platform with knotted rope handrails. It was dimly lit that far up, with most of the light coming from the other moons, and far enough away to where the only sounds they could hear from the celebration below were the muffled beat of drums. After pulling himself up, Luke offered a hand to Wedge, helping him up to take a seat beside him, his legs hanging off the platform. He leaned forward on the ropes, low enough to where he could comfortably rest his elbows on them.

“Before you say anything, I have something to tell you. About my family,” Luke said. He wasn’t looking at Wedge. He looked straight forward off into the treetops, but he could tell that Wedge mirrored his position beside him. His husband didn’t say anything, so Luke continued. “Vader is my father.” He saw Wedge’s head snap towards him out of the corner of his eye, but Luke couldn’t bear to look at him yet. “And Leia is my sister. We were… separated at birth, for our protection from our father.”

Luke dared a glance over at Wedge, who looked alarmed, he thought. Sometimes it was hard to read him, even with all of his abilities in the ways of the Force.

“How long have you known?” Wedge asked, his voice tight. He didn’t bother asking if it was true. If Luke was telling him, then it was.

“Since Bespin,” Luke admitted. He forced himself to look at Wedge as he saw the flash of hurt on his husband’s face.

“That’s…” Wedge said quietly. “We’ve been together since then, at the rendezvous point. We were together for weeks, Luke. And you didn’t tell me. _Me_ , Luke. Your own husband.” Luke heard the bitterness in his voice, but he hadn’t raised it above a whisper.

“I know,” Luke said, not making excuses. He picked at the rope.

Wedge was quiet for a while after that, staring off into the darkness. Luke let him think. Finally, he spoke. But his voice wasn’t bitter anymore, just tired. “Maybe…” he sighed, “maybe we should get divorced.”

Somehow, Luke had known that was coming. Had expected it when Wedge had wanted to go somewhere alone, and not to celebrate. But he hadn’t expected the sharp feeling of pain in his chest when Wedge had confirmed his suspicions.

Luke’s inability to talk prompted Wedge to keep speaking, still not looking at Luke. “It’s not just that you didn’t tell me,” he said tiredly, “that’s just a part of it. Do we even know how to be married, Luke?” he turned to face him, so Luke could see the pained expression on his face.

“I don’t know if anyone knows that, Wedge,” Luke told him wearily. But he knew Wedge was right. They’d fallen in love in heated, stolen moments on Echo Base when there hadn’t been anything to do but each other. Between running missions for the sake of the galaxy, in the days they had together, they’d barely spent weeks together at a time.

Getting married had barely been discussed. It wasn’t even because they needed to be in each other’s paperwork, or because they’d been afraid to lose each other. They’d been young and rash and had barely known each other a year. Now they’d barely known each other three. And they’d hardly spent any of that time together at all. Did they even know how to be married in a galaxy without a war?

It was like Wedge had been reading his mind, because he said, “Do we even know how to be around each other anymore?” They were sitting at least a foot away from each other, when they used to be pressed as close as possible, even in meetings. “We aren’t the same people we used to be, Luke. Do you remember what we used to be like? I don’t know if we can even salvage what we have.”

“I know,” Luke said. He _knew_ what needed fixing. Maybe Wedge was right.

“Maybe we don’t know how to love each other anymore,” Wedge said, finally. He’d leaned back, his arms propping him up from behind as he looked up at the stars and sighed. He seemed to be resigned to this.

Luke looked at him, sadly. He’d let Wedge go if that was what he really wanted, but Luke didn’t think it was. He looked down to his left hand, still raised on the rope handrails, to the silver band on his finger. He knew not everyone who was married wore one, and they hadn’t even had the rings at their wedding, but Luke’s aunt and uncle had worn them, and he’d always kind of liked the idea of it. Wedge had gotten the rings to surprise him, a couple of months after their wedding. He’d never taken it off.

“If this is what you want, Wedge. I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you want.” It wasn’t that he couldn’t imagine a life without Wedge, because he could. He could imagine a lot of lives without Wedge. It was that he didn’t want to. “But I don’t think that’s what you really want. It’s not what I want.”

Wedge turned to him, the sad expression gone, but replaced by something not much better. Resignation. “What do you want, Luke? I’m not sure I know anymore.”

“I want to try,” he told Wedge with conviction. Wedge’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s what’s important, Wedge. I want to try. I want to work on this. I love you.” He meant it. He loved Wedge. “It might not be the same, boyish puppy love I had for you when we met, but we have something better: we have a deep respect and trust for each other. Do you trust me with your life, Wedge?”

“Of course,” Wedge said, without any trace of hesitation. His brows knitted together.

“Then _trust me with your life_ ,” he said to Wedge, meeting eyes with him to show his level of conviction. “I know and acknowledge all those things you said, but Wedge, I don’t think splitting up is the answer.” He shook his head. Wedge didn’t say anything, unreadable again to Luke. “What do you say, Wedge? Do you want to figure out how to be married to me in a time of peace? Or do you want to throw the last three years away? I won’t stop you, if you do.”

Wedge looked down, and for a moment, Luke was afraid of what Wedge was going to say. Afraid he might ask for a divorce again. The longer he stayed quiet, the more panic Luke felt rising in his chest, but he didn’t let it betray him.

Finally, Wedge said, looking up, “I trust you Luke. I want to figure it out with you.” He huffed softly, “Isn’t that what we’d said when we got married? That we didn’t have a plan, but we’d figure it out?” Luke nodded slowly, relief flooding into his system like air. He felt lighter already.

“Can I kiss you?” Luke asked. The last time they’d kissed had just been days ago, at the rendezvous point, but now, that felt just as far away as when they’d gotten married on that planet Luke had forgotten the name of. So much had happened since then.

Wedge didn’t say anything.

“Is this okay?” Luke asked, moving closer. He could see the shadows dance on his husband’s face.

Wedge looked unsure, swallowing, but he nodded, letting Luke close the distance between them. Luke didn’t immediately go to kiss him. Instead, he wrapped himself around him, brushing Wedge’s hair off his forehead, so he could see his eyes properly. His hand stilled on the back of Wedge’s head, just behind his ear. Their faces were just inches apart, and they breathed together, intimately, as Luke went in for the kiss.

When he pulled back after the slowest kiss of his life, he saw something broken in Wedge’s eyes. He didn’t need Wedge to say that he loved him. He didn’t need to hear it, or even know it. He just needed Wedge to promise that they’d work on this, together.

**Author's Note:**

> YEAH DON'T HOLD IT TO ME BUT I might write a short fic with a couple important scenes leading up to this moment. (If you want it in the undeterminable future, follow me as an author.)
> 
> Also the Dark Side AU WHICH I WILL GET TO EVENTUALLY I PROMISE.


End file.
